By the Numbers

I have studied many languages, and tried so many different methods I have lost count. Some worked well, but to be honest - most were utterly useless. I have learned that, if the program wants you to repeat the name for utensils, or “Where is the taxi stand?”, then it isn’t worth my time to read any further. That isn’t learning a language; it is simply learning how to parrot a specific phrase. And with a lack to any substantive purpose, it is meaningless - you will forget how to parrot it almost immediately. Other programs are OK, but again, if you can’t find a reason to use the language, you will lose the ability sooner than later. Some had potential, but the books were complex, or didn’t have a common thread to allow deeper understanding. There was no connection to what I knew to what I was trying to learn. 

Then one day, I picked up an original copy of the Irish Bible, signed by the translator and given as a gift on the day it was released. A huge tome, with beautiful gilded pages, artwork and rare craftsmanship. It is a treasure to be handed down from generation to generation. But when I opened it...I was overwhelmed with the text. It was so much more complex than any “Teach Yourself X” book from Barnes and Noble had ever been. How was I possibly going to understand any of it?

It sat on my bookshelf for many years, and I would often pick it up to admire the work, then give up when I simply couldn’t comprehend any passage. But one day, I realized - I had the translation for every word sitting on the bookshelf right next to it! How about if I tried to have both books - the Irish and the NIV - both open to the same text and see if I could see anything; a pattern, perhaps. It was like figuring out the Rubik’s Cube. Suddenly, I was able to pick up more and more. After a few weeks, I was able to read and understand the opening of Genesis without the translation!

But the Bible is a huge work - written by scores of authors over hundreds of years - and I realized I had to find an efficient method or I would never progress. I tried the Psalms, but they are full of poetry and “high falutin’” words. Wasn’t there anything more down to Earth?

For some reason, one day, I opened up the Bible to the Gospel of John. It was so beautiful in English, yet very comprehensible. I found my method - I would only focus on the four Gospels, and make that my goal. Furthermore, I picked the Gospel of John, because of its raw beauty.

A lot of people have asked me why did I pick the New Testament to learn Irish? Am I some religious nut? I have had others tell me that they don’t believe in the Bible, so they would never use it to learn a language. I always ask if they believe Lord of the Rings. Did their disbelief cause them to not want to read the book, regardless of what enjoyment they could gain? I have others tell me that the Bible is the reason for all the violence in the world, and they couldn’t help perpetuate the division. I ask them if they have ever read the New Testament, and if not, how can they tell me what it says or doesn’t say? To me, it seems downright ridiculous to purposefully remain ignorant of one of the most important historical pieces of literature in the world. I didn’t have to be a Muslim to read the Qur’an in Arabic. And from a linguistic perspective, it is absolutely beautiful. If I didn’t read it, how can I possibly know what it says?

The beauty of using the New Testament to learn Irish - or any language you may want to learn, ancient or modern - is that it is the most translated book in the world. It has been exhaustively researched, each word considered, every translation done by the greatest speakers of each language. When you are reading the New Testament in any language, you can be absolutely certain you are reading a work of art that matches FLAWLESSLY with a version written in your own language. Nearly every sentence is numbered, so that you never have to wonder if you are looking at the right passage - it is already done for you.

Another beautiful thing about the New Testament is that incredible research has be already done on word frequency. It is fascinating to consider, but according to Zipf Theory, about 80% of the frequency of words in any text are comprised of about 20% of the actual words. That means, if you learn just 20% of the words in any given text, you can understand 80% of it! But how do you know what 20% to learn??? Well, for the New Testament, the hard work has been already done for you. Usually, the frequency count is done on the original Greek translation. But, that shouldn’t be a problem. And unlike other programs, you don’t have to buy anything to learn!

For example, let’s say that you are learning Welsh (Cymraeg). The internet is brimming with support. Want to translate the top 20% into Welsh? There’s a site for that. Want to read the Welsh Bible? It’s on the Web. Want to hear the Welsh Bible while you read it? You can do that, too.

The New Testament has a surprisingly recurrent vocabulary; so, when you master a word, or concept, it repeats...over and over. There is nothing as empowering as looking at a text that when you began, looked like gobbledygook, but slowly, it takes on form and you recognize patterns. Your self-confidence increases, as does your understanding. Learning - really LEARNING - another language is the most powerful thing you can do. It opens up another world that monolinguals just can’t comprehend. Literally. If you really want to be multicultural, not in the political sense, but the cultural sense, then take a stab at it.

You will never, ever regret choosing the New Testament as your guide. The positivity and uplifting words you will learn can only make you a better person. I have told people that you don’t have to be a Christian to use the New Testament as your learning tool. But I can’t promise that you won’t find profound learning and maybe even change your life while you are expanding your mind. How can that be bad?

Without further ado, I present Chapter 2 of the beautiful Gospel of John - An Soiscéal de réir Eoin - Caibidil a Dó!

     You can read along in Irish by accessing this pdf document:

Eoin 2

Parleying with my Progeny

     Anyone who really knows me, knows that I am a language geek. And of all the languages I have studied and experienced, there is none that equals Irish, called Gaeilge in the native tongue. Genetically speaking, I am 75% Irish, and 87.5% Celtic. I have studied Irish since I was a little boy, and though it was very difficult to do, I have reached a point in my life where I believe I am adequate in my ability to read and understand the language.

     But one of the biggest hurdles to Irish, is that it is definitely NOT a language that you can easily speak based on what you read. In Croatian, every letter makes a certain sound, and if you see it, you say it. It is very simple to read and understand. Gaeilge, however, has a complex set of rules, and true to the Irish nature, is very uncertain. Just like English, there are what seems like an infinite number of exceptions to rules; the only way to really understand how to listen to, and speak, Gaeilge is to model native speakers.

      That has always been a problem, even in this day and age where the internet is brimming with literally billions of files. Unfortunately, the very people who should be speaking and teaching the language - the Irish themselves - seem to be willing to let the language die from neglect. This isn't a problem unique to Gaeilge, certainly, but it is the situation.

      This leads me to my other favorite obsession. My favorite book to read is Cosslett Ó Cuinn's translation of the New Testament, called "An Tiomna Nua (ár dTiarna agus ár Slánaitheora Íosa Chríost). The language in this translation is magical; it is based on spoken Irish of 1950's Donegal. The way he uses the language to make the New Testament come alive is unbelievable. I have spoken with his son on several occasions, and he told me that many people tell him that. His father also spoke Aramaic, Hebrew and Greek, so his use of terms and translations is also fantastic.

        I have searched and searched for the existence of a native speaker reading an Tiomna Nua so that I could learn to pronounce exactly like a native. But that type of support doesn't exist, to my knowledge. So I decided, do I really have to speak Gaeilge like a native, or should I speak Gaeilge like an American - speaking a second language? My son's mother, who is Croatian, used to tell me that I spoke Croatian with an American accent, like it was something about which to be ashamed. I have heard that from Egyptians and Iraqis when I spoke Arabic, Parisians when I spoke French, Darmstadters when I spoke German, and hispanic friends when I speak Spanish. But for me, that is a compliment, not a criticism. I am not a native, so why should I have to speak like someone I am not? To me, there is nothing sexier than a pretty woman speaking English with a foreign accent - it adds to the allure; maybe somewhere out there is a beautiful native Irish speaker who will find my reading to be irresistible - I can only hope!

        So, I decided to take matters in my own hands. I have begun to record myself reading an Tiomna Nua, with the goal of creating a work that can be shared by anyone who has the book in their possession - they can hear what Cosslett Ó Cuinn wrote, learn Irish and follow the word of God as well. The best thing is that you don't actually have to own the Tiomna Nua; I also took part in a transcription project with the website bible.com - which makes the bible accessible in hundreds of endangered languages. We have transcribed all the Gospels in Ó Cuinn's Tiomna Nua; and though only Luke is now posted, within a few weeks, we hope that all four Gospels will be available. Ó Cuinn's Tiomna Nua is based on the New Revised Version, so you can easily follow along. I am starting with my favorite, The Gospel of John. Even in English, it is very powerful, and in Irish, it is even more so. My short-term goal is to record all four Gospels, which to me are the most important, because they contain the actual teachings and words of Jesus - or Íosa, as you will have to learn. Eventually, I want to record all the books of an Tiomna Nua.

       Another side benefit, as I can see it, is that someday, my sons, or their children, or maybe even their children will maybe be interested in hearing their ancestor actually speak from the grave. And to do so, they may be encouraged to learn WHAT I am saying - and then I can hope that I will be able to share my love of the language and the words I am speaking with my descendents!

         So, without further ado, here is Chapter 1, the Gospel according to John - An Soiscéal de réir Eoin - Caibidil a hAon!

You can read along in Irish by accessing this pdf document:

Eoin 1 pdf